Wednesday, 15 March 2017

" I have bad Anxiety because..."

Fighting Anxiety on a daily basis is harder than you think. Everyone has the feeling of being anxious but it is when you differentiate the feeling of normal anxious emotions, to having an Anxiety disorder. It is normal to get the occasional anxious feeling every now and again in understandable situations for example, before an exam or public speaking! 

BUT... when you suffer with an Anxiety disorder whether that's general (GAD), social anxiety, agoraphobia or panic disorder (which in most cases comes with all types of Anxiety) it can be debilitating, crippling and you honestly feel like you are dying. I constantly see comments being thrown around on social media and TV saying "It's giving me anxiety", which can be understandable if someone actually has anxiety, but when it is used in a light hearted (ignorant) way for example, when you're watching a TV show and there's a tiny bit of suspense, you don't just magically get diagnosed with Anxiety.
Don't get me wrong, you do not have to be formally diagnosed to have Anxiety, I was only diagnosed last year but I have suffered with it for most of my life, having my first panic attack at around the age of 7. However, when people make comments about having Anxiety when they clearly do not have the illness (Yes, it is an actual illness, a chemical imbalance in the brain) it can be so frustrating for someone like me who has to fight the battle every day sometimes (the majority of the time) struggling to even leave the bed and get on with the day, after a sleepless night of having panic attack after panic attack. 

I was diagnosed with Anxiety (GAD/Social/Panic Disorder) and Depression July last year, so believe me when I say I STRUGGLE! 

Rich inspired me to write this post after he wrote a similar one about OCD >>> Read here! But I wanted to do something slightly different and get some other people involved... so here are some of mine and other Anxiety sufferers statements:

"I have bad Anxiety because..."

  • I can't leave the house without feeling like something bad is going to happen to me.
  • I can be up for the whole night having endless panic attacks, to the point Rich feels the need to call an ambulance. 
  • I can feel so lonely and isolated even when I'm surrounded by people I love.
  • I feel like the whole world is closing in on me whenever I'm in a situation I can't control.
  • I have to go outside to get air and to calm down on nights out because I don't like being in a crowded place, especially when intoxicated. 
  • I feel so disconnected from everyone... I feel alienated.
  • I can feel anxious to the point I feel physically sick, but when someone asks why, the words just don't come out. 
  • I immediately become paranoid when I see a tweet and think it's about me, even though I haven't even mentioned what they're tweeting about. 
  • I can't remember the last time I've gone through a day without a panic attack or feeling anxious. 
  • I feel like I have a herd of elephants standing on my chest stopping me from breathing.
  • I feel like I'm in a constant nightmare, where I am running and shouting but I'm not moving anywhere and the words are not coming out. 
  • I have the constant battle between wanting to do well in life and not caring at all, but when I don't care I start falling behind and failing, resulting in my anxiety getting worse. 
  • I want to socialise but it's like someone has chained my feet down so I can't move and my voice in non-existent. 
  • I constantly go over past conversations either from the day or 10 years ago just to check whether I said anything I shouldn't have said. 
  • I immediately want the ground to swallow me up whenever I walk into a room and hear people laughing, because I immediately think they're talking about me.
I could honestly go on forever, but this gives you some idea of what I (and many others) have to go through on a daily basis! Now for some other people's statements:












Others who wanted to stay anonymous: 


Since being officially diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression it has been one ol' struggle! Both illnesses run in my family so I've literally grown up with it. It takes over your life however, you can get help, see your GP, talk to a loved one... do anything you can do to ease it! 
I was kindly sent this book by the author Chloe Brotheridge to help with my Anxiety. "The Anxiety Solution" is all about Chloe's experiences with Anxiety and how she overcame the illness. The book includes different techniques to help manage your Anxiety and to hopefully overcome it, including meditation tips, a self-care diary and breathing techniques. I am yet to start reading this (thanks to endless amounts of uni work) but from what I've heard, it sounds like it's going to help me a lot! 

If you struggle with Anxiety and need a little bit of self help, then I strongly urge you to go and purchase this book! Links listed below of where you can find it:


Sorry for this long rambling post but I hope it helped you to understand the difference between feeling anxious and having anxiety!

Thank you to everyone who contributed to this post, I hope you're all doing ok and kicking Anxiety's ass! Love you all x

*Thank you to Chloe for sending your book, I can't wait to get time to properly read it!