Sunday, 18 June 2017

I Am Life's Punching Bag

I feel like I am life's punching bag, constantly being knocked down. It seems like with every positive thing that happens in my life, 10 other negative things happen and overshadow it. Don't get me wrong my life isn't all doom and gloom and I am so lucky to have the life that I do have, but I can't help but feel like I need a break from it all sometimes. 

Nobody ever really talks about how students with mental health issues cope in the summer. I've kind of touched on this in a previous post, which you can read about here. Just because university finishes, it does not mean that your mental illness stops. If anything, for me it gets slightly worse as I haven't got a lot to keep me occupied therefore, giving me too much time to over think and put myself in a bad and unstable mood. Recently, I have been doing whatever I can to keep my mind occupied and active, whilst of course giving myself a break still. I have focused on my blog more, started working with Student Minds and I have started planning my own little project called 'Student Stigma'

Despite all of this, I still feel like a punching bag because it seems that everything I try to achieve recently, has fallen through and I'm basically getting no where with it. I have applied for over 40-50 internships and work experience jobs and only heard back from a couple of them, who agreed to give me the experience. I sent endless emails confirming dates that I could do, to get little to no reply back. Fast forward a month or so and I have now had replies saying they cannot offer it anymore as they have someone else. This has also happened with a handful of others who have advertised a job to then say that they cannot offer it to anyone anymore. I completely respect that this is the way in which life just happens to work but I can't help but feel disheartened. What am I doing wrong? However, I'm not letting this knock me back... I have applied for a couple of part time jobs which I hopefully have some chance of getting, if not I know I have tried. 

So life just keeps punching and punching but I will not give up. I have so much support around me from family and my friends Nicole (who is amazing;) ) and Katie who is equally amazing and of course Rich. Friends are so important to me and they make life's 'punches' a little less damaging. If you are a student struggling over the summer, surround yourself with as much support as you can because believe me, it helps. Students can feel so lonely and useless over the summer, but we need to remember how hard we have worked and we deserve this break. 

If you ever feel like you are struggling, please do not hesitate to DM me on twitter or to leave a little comment on here!

Don't be life's punching bag!