Yesterday I did a big thing, I went out in public in a dress. To some people that is an every day ritual, to me it felt like an impossible obstacle. But with Rich's encouraging words and compliments, I decided to take the plunge. All I could think was what are other people thinking when they look at me, my chunky milk bottle legs on full show, my stomach rolls hanging down, the flabby bits of my arms just peaking out of the side of my dress. Yes, I didn't feel completely comfortable in myself and I just wanted to hide away from everyone but in reality, it was 24 degrees and jeans would have been too much!
Once I got outside and made my way into London I noticed myself not caring as much and I managed to just enjoy the day. I reminded myself that people don't actually care about what I look like, especially in London when it is filled with thousands of other people.
I have put on weight I can't shy away from that and I may not be doing anything about it but aside from that fact, I want to feel happy in my own skin regardless of what size and shape I am. Yes I can do workouts everyday and maybe eat a little less chocolate but even when I am more toned and slimmer am I going to automatically feel more confident and happy?
Who says I have to be toned and slim to be confident? Who says I can't have stomach rolls and stretch marks and not feel confident in my own skin?
Confidence comes from within. I have severe social anxiety so I constantly doubt myself and feel paranoid and by being more 'model like' does not mean I'm going to instantly feel happier and more confident. I'm still going to have all the issues I had before. I am always going to feel paranoid, nervous, anxious, on edge... the list goes on.
I'm never going to be completely slim and petite because my body and bone structure is just not like that. I have a wide rib cage so I'm always going to appear bigger. I have stretch marks and they're not going to go anytime soon, pretty much every girl has them anyway so to be honest I could not care less that I have them.
We need to start embracing ourselves, embrace the scars and stretch marks, the flabby bits because we all have them. The phrase 'Summer Body' needs to stop being thrown about and associated with slim and toned figures. A 'Summer Body' is whatever you make it. It's YOUR body. I'm going on holiday in July and I am definitely not rushing to sort my body out so I can have that 'Summer Body' because I already have that body. It's just my body but in the Summer, right?
I can't lie, I don't love my body but I don't entirely hate it! I can easily change it to how I want it to be but I'm in no rush. I want to learn how to be happy in my body regardless of how it looks and we all need to do the same!
Stop the negative talk about your body and the way you look. It is our differences that we need to embrace, it makes us unique and beautiful.
Read more posts about self-confidence here:
Self Confidence
The Self Love Challenge
This Is Me
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